


Just Us.

by AnzieLove



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abandonment, F/F, Isolation, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29913018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnzieLove/pseuds/AnzieLove
Summary: After standing in the garden for hundreds to thousands of years, Spinel starts to hear the voice of the darkness within.
Relationships: Spinel/Spinel (Steven Universe)





	Just Us.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing and I get no money.

ONE: Voice.

'Spinel. Spinel. Spinel.'

Spinel does her best to do as her Diamond wishes: to stand perfectly still, in their garden, where Pink left her. She did not really understand this game, even though there was only one rule. She just does as her Diamond says, because she plays a role. From the moment Spinel was formed - burning with passion, enthusiasm - she was meant to be Pink's best friend, now and forever, to keep her spirits, to always keep her smiling and laughing. This also meant always being by her side, everywhere, all the time. For the first time since they were coupled, Spinel was away from her Diamond, but only because of this new game. Spinel has stood there, night after night. So many nights have passed that Spinel has lost count. She does know that it has been years, from the overgrowth of the plants, from the cracks in the pillars, from the filth of the water fountain getting thicker and thicker. But she was told to stand perfectly still, and if there's something that gems understand, it's endurance; they can withstand time.

Patience, however, is tenuous with gems. It's different for each. She isn't sure when it starts happening, but she starts to hear a voice. She tries her damnest to not give in to temptation. They're whispers. At first, she wonders if the many stars above are trying to talk to her; or the plants around her, the plants that are still struggling to survive.

'Spinel. Spinel. Spinel.'

God, it's constant. She isn't sure if the voice is familiar. It's so faint. She wonders if it is her Diamond - some way, somehow - managing to talk to her from wherever she is across the universe.

'It's me. I'm here.'

"Who is here?" It's strange to speak again. Spinel has not spoken in so long that it comes out as a cough.

'You. You are here.'

Spinel squint into the dark, looking around: through the tall grass, the vines, the briar patches, around the pillars: "Yes, I am. But who are you?"

'I'm you.'

"But I'm me. I can't be elsewhere. I've been standing here."

'As have I.'

She's gone. She's never coming back for you. She tricked you. She knew you would fall for it. Because you're stupid. You're annoying. That's why she left you here. It's not a game. You're too good for her, anyway.

Lies. Doubt. That's what they were. Spinel ignores the voice. 

TWO: Shadow.

Spinel learns after another period of time - days, weeks, years - that the voice is from within somewhere; from within her mind, perhaps. Or the gem in her chest. At first, anyway. At some point, probably while she was dozing off, in that dream-wake state one finds themselves in in between, the voice starts taking form on the outside. It's a slow, slow build to solidity.

'Move.'

"I can't move."

'Yes, you can.'

"I can, but I was told not to."

'Or what?'

"Or..."

'Or what, huh? What bad thing will happen if you move.'

"I'll be disobeying her."

'It's been years. Centuries. Look at this place. Look at you. What kind of game involves standing still for centuries. It's not fun. Not fun at all. You can't just blindly do what other gems say.'

"I don't do what other gems say. Just her. My Diamond. And the other Diamonds."

'The Diamonds are all weird. And terrible. They are shatterers. They see gems as classes.'

The form the voice took was Spinel's own shadow: starting from below her feet tangled in briar and butchered through the grass as it stretched before or beside or behind her. She could see the distinct changes in the outlines. The longer limbs. The spikes where her own two heart-shaped buns should be...

And with the slow shifting of her shadow, the voice started to develop its own distinct sound, beyond the elusive whisper. 

"Who are you?"

'I told you, I'm you.'

It certainly sounded a lot like Spinel, but with a tang of something...sinister. Something that teased, mocked. There were also lots of growls, lots of underlying anger and tension.

THREE: Eyes.

The two orbs glow through the strands of grass, undeniably there in this dark, decaying world. They are made of two layers of pink - a darker and lighter kind - and they Pierce through the trembling Spinel: 'You can't ignore me forever.'

Spinel brings her hands up to cover her own eyes: "Please. Leave me alone."

'I'm always here. I have always been apart of you, and you can't deny that. Not forever. Let me out.'

"GO AWAY!"

FOUR: Face.

The two orbs eventually shed a glow strong enough for Spinel to see the lines and shapes of what would make the voice's face.

"What are those lines down your face?"

'Tears.'

"Will they go away?"

'I don't know.'

"Well, from what I was told, tears should go away in no time."

Blue Diamond's tears were constant, but they always went away once they stopped falling. From what Spinel knew, tears didn't leave marks. They didn't leave scars. If there were tears like that, Spinel had never seen it.

'Not these. Spinel, I don't want you to have these kinds of tears. That won't happen if you let me out, let me take over. There's still time. Run. Free yourself. Free us.'

"No."

'Why not! So you're gonna just stand here, for all eternity?'

"It won't be for eternity."

'You still don't get it? Do I have to tell you again? She's never coming back. She's left you here. She told you to do this so you wouldn't follow her. I say let's ditch this place and do whatever we please.'

The dread is fast and overwhelming. Spinel's eyes waver about, now refusing to look directly at the gaze in the grass again. She naws at her bottom lip and the shakes are coming back.

'I know you're not as dumb as you seem.'

It was insulting, but right now, the shadow's tone was completely devoid of any teasing or mocking. It was soft, gentle. Pitying.

'I know you're afraid to move and go out there because you are afraid to do things on your own. You are a friendly gem, not a loner. You need to have someone with you. But you're not alone. You have me. Other gems will abandon you, but not me. Let me out and I will take care of us. You won't have to worry.'

FIVE: Touch.

It's been a couple thousand years. Maybe three, or more. Spinel can't remember anymore. She spends the majority of her time asleep, just resting her eyes, her head down, chin against her chest, letting her dreams wander off where her feet cannot. She feels nothing. She is not hopeful. She is not afraid. She is not annoyed. She is not content. She is numb. She could feel the ever-growing heat of the second body standing directly behind her, from the shade of her shadow, and she feels no attachment to it, feels nothing in response; just acknowledges the heat. Feeling nothing is something gems like her - who were born with the love of life in them, who were born with passion and enthusiasm for fun - should not be feeling. Her shadow was right. Spinel is a friendly gem, not a loner. She does not know what to do anymore.

She barely acknowledges the shadow stepping around her from behind - crunch, crunch, crunch in the grass - to her front. When she looks up to the being standing before her, there is a hint of suspense. She did not know if she would be startled. The creature greatly resembles her, but still has many differences. She's a deal taller, her colors are a great deal darker, her eyes are more serious, there's the black tears down her cheeks, and there's the wild, unraveled pigtails. It's a lot to take in, and Spinel isn't sure how to respond, how to feel about it all. The shadow moves, lifting it's hands, its gaze unwavering and completely focused on Spinel's. When the shadow's hands touch her, roaming up and down her front - caressing her neck, gem, breasts, and shoulders - Spinel lets out a vulnerable sigh that makes her lips tremble. The trembling of her lips stop when the shadow leans in, closer and closer, until it is kissing her. Spinel was feeling again. It had been so long. It had been so long since she had been touched, let alone caressed or loved. The arms that slither around her are stretchy and flexible, just like her own, but they are strong. She can feel herself being lifted - gingerly, carefully - the rooted soles of her feet stubbornly trying to keep a hold of her to the ground, and Spinel gasps.

No, no.

"Don't," she says, breaking the kiss.

"It's okay," the shadow says back. It's not teasing or mocking, and it is also not even pity. It is completely tender, very compassionate.

Spinel holds onto the warm body of her shadow, wrapping her arms around its neck, and the shadow tightens its hold around her waist, but not enough to be painful. Spinel feels...safe. She feels secure. The shadow lifts her up again: "It's okay. It's okay." 

The snapping of the roots around her feet and legs are like bones breaking.

SIX: Lick.

When the shadow looms over Spinel's reclining body, she doesn't feel fear. When its hands run up and down her body, she feels something like sparks of lightning, like the sparks that shoot put of Yellow Diamond's palms. The strongest "spark" she feels comes from when the shadow runs its tongue over the gem on her chest.

SEVEN: Breath.

The lick is enough to make Spinel gasp from the strange mix of pleasure and what Spinel thinks she should call pain, but it is not exactly that. If it is pain, it is a pain she had either forgotten, or a pain she's never experienced before.

EIGHT: Tears.

They say that when beings are overcome with emotion, their bodies will extract the overflow through gasps, screams, and tears. Tears were very foreign to Spinel. Why was the shadow's electrifying touch making Spinel overwhelmed and fearful? Was it actually hurting her and she did not know it? Tears were also said to be a product of pain. Injury.

If Spinel was crying from pain, she didn't care. This pain was pleasurable to her.

NINE: Sleep.

Spinel doesn't remember falling asleep. The slumber to follow has a likeness to death. It's amazing. Refreshing. If Spinel dreams, she does not remember the dreaming. She has "memories" of barely opening her eyes and turning on her side to see the shadow staring back at her, watching her sleep. It is simultaneously comforting and terrifying, seeing those eyes, bright with some kind of primal force. It is nice to know that in the abyss of space, she is not alone. She is not sleeping alone. The slumber is dark and deep. She does not know of her existence until she stirs every now and then. She does not know how long she stays asleep. The shadow gently wakes her up at some point, vines and briars formed around her reclining body, the same way they did around her feet and legs when she was standing.

Standing.

She had an order to carry out. She moved.

Feeling the eyes of the shadow burning into her as she stands back up, snapping all the vines and briars blanketed around her, she stumbles back to where her Diamond left her.


End file.
